On the “make lemonade” premise I considered writing a diet book, one that was sure to hurl to the top of bestseller lists. It would be titled:  Lose 10 Pounds in 8 Hours! The Contaminated Food Diet!

Instead I’m content to live the rest of my life with an abnormal fear of turkey-and-hummus  roll-ups left sitting for ten hours on the seat of my car, frequently in sunlight, while I negotiate the usual insane traffic mayhem across southern Ontario until I’m so exhausted and famished that I eat those lukewarm packets of infection despite the voice in my head warning me that it might be a bad idea.

My sources tell me there might not be a name for such a phobia.

But late that night, in my room at Queen’s University in Kingston, after the fourth or fifth time I scuttled to the bathroom shuddering with fever and put my head in the toilet, I thought, “Hey! I’ll compile a list of other interesting phobias!”

Turns out it’s a long list. Here’s an abbreviated version:

Fear of blushing (erythrophobia)

of books (bibliophobia)

of children (pedophobia)

of deep water (bathophobia)

of fresh air (aerophobia)

of dust (koniophobia)

of flowers (anthophobia)

of food (cibophobia) [GETTING CLOSE]

of frogs or toads (batrachophobia)

of God’s wrath (theophobia) [GETTING CLOSER]

of hair (chaetophobia)

of light or the sun (photophobia)

of motion or wandering (dromophobia)

of novelty (neophobia)

of perfection (teleophobia)

of imperfection (atelophobia)

of poison (toxicophobia) [BINGO!]

of sleep (hypnophobia)

of sounds or speaking (phonophobia)

of standing still (stasophobia)

of strong or rapid breathing (pantophobia)

of the number 13 (triskaidekaphobia)

of words (logophobia)

of work (ergophobia)

of everything (panphobia)